Can you believe it’s just six days to Christmas? One minute, it’s 9 weeks away and then in a flurry of swiftly passing days, the 25th is nearly upon us! There will now be hordes of fellas storming the shops on Christmas Eve in an absolute panic and pubs filled once more, with revelers slurring along to Slade’s ‘I wish it could be Christmas every day,’ before they head home and get a good rollicking from their wives who have been basting turkey’s, frantically wrapping presents and trying to keep the kids/cats from wrecking the tree.
This year, our cats didn’t wreck the tree, it, wrecked itself by passing out in a drunken stupor. I can only assume the base was too small but I like to think it keeled over in a rush of excitement, pretty much in the same way a sub does after a good old whipping!
Also, When you get your unwanted presents this year, remember to smile politely and say, ‘Oh gosh, how kind” before making plans to put it in a food bank. One person’s garbage is another person’s treasure and people and animals need more help than ever at the moment.
It’s been a busy week of Crimbo sessions, involving an insane amount of tinsel. I’m thinking of taking out shares in tinsel next year in case I’m likely to get through the same amount. They make great leashes, among other things that you are more likely to read about on my other blog. If you know, you know, wink wink!
Editing kinkster stories has been a big focus the last week and it’s been an absolute delight to read through some of my follower’s histories, which involve very colourful past times and ultimately self-acceptance. I applaud you all and can’t wait to see you in print alongside myself and Lady Rampage! You are all legends and beautifully unique.
I’ve been keeping only half an eye on the news. It’s very sad to see major wars still going on and can only pray that times of peace will come sooner rather than later. In other news, a man has been arrested for carrying out live castrations on the dark web. I was hoping it was a cock and ball story but he seems to be a real-life dick-tator. Perhaps Offcom should start delving into the deep web where the really disturbing stuff lurks.
I do love the Metro’s articles such as, “Do you know you have been pooing wrong all your life?” “Did you know you have been breathing wrong the whole time?” Good Lord! Really! Thank Heaven’s for the Metro’s sage advice on how to breathe correctly, otherwise, we could have all keeled over in the next few days from a lack of oxygen. How reckless of us! How the Hell did I make it to this grand age with such inferior breathing skills? Now they have set the record straight, a new lease of life surely beckons. I think we can all kneel down and thank these heroes for saving us from almost certain death.
Some of you might know, I also have an interest in alternative news too. The public’s views on Elon Musk and Alex Jones (Infowars) are very mixed. Interestingly, David Icke has some particularly alternative views on this. The thing is with David Icke is that he is a very coherent speaker, passionate and does often make some very valid points, but some of the most ardent conspiracy theorists (or even just simply -theorists) struggle with some of his more questionable claims. Just to throw one out there – and to paraphrase – all the Royals and Elites are actually reptiles hiding in skin suits and they live off the life energy of humanity by sucking it out of them. Ok, it’s certainly an imaginative take! He condemns Musk and calls him a false saviour, and claims he is playing a double bluff, to create the illusion of free speech, when in fact the media is still tightly controlled. After campaigning for the return of Alex Jones to Twitter, he seems less positive about his return now and says it’s all staged. It’s never dull on the twittersphere! Is anyone just calling it X now? I still struggle with that!
So, in 2024 will there be a showdown between these influencers, possibly with Russel Brand and Jordan Peterson thrown in the mix? Or will the reptiles have scoffed us all down by then and be sat licking their lips with long, winding tongues, joyous at their delicious human buffet?
I have a feeling that 2024 will bring greater truths involving a lot of celebrities and it won’t be so much of the tide turning but a tsunami sweeping over Tinsel town and social media platforms.
Will it be the year that aliens show their faces? Probably not. If aliens exist and they’ve seen our leaders then I have greater faith in ye Old St Nick, Santa Clause, Daddy Christmas popping his head down the chimney and saying, “Haha! Double bluff, got ya!”
Our chimney is all bricked up, so sadly we’d miss that little delight, but what grown man sneaks down chimneys anyway and can’t politely knock on the front door (ensuring to call first in advance to check it’s convenient)? What an absolute heathen to stalk along the rooftops like some kind of escaped criminal!
Next year, reality shows will probably become more extreme, celebrities more spoiled and bratty, and the public more scathing, but on the whole, we will wake further to the truths that have been kept from us.
Before we roll into 2024 though, let’s be grateful for those who are still able to be around the tree (assuming it hasn’t been demolished by our furry friends). We’ve all lost people and pets and honour their memories on special occasions, so let’s also honour those who are still here and raise a glass, whether it be sherry, champers or orange juice. It’s been another tough year for the world politically, along with life struggles for many too, but I raise a glass and send Christmas cheer to every single person this year who made me smile, taught me something new, or even challenged me and made me understand something about myself on a deeper level.
I thank all of you who have been a part of my life in any way, whether in real life or online, and send warm wishes, clinks of glasses, good health, happiness, and everything you need to keep finding laughter in life.
With Much Love.