“Clothes make the man!†Mark Twain once said and many ways he was correct in this statement. After all, dress has a massive impact on how we feel, our self esteem and sometimes our beliefs.
Clothes are used to entice a mate, for ceremonial purposes, to make us feel good about ourselves, to impress that interviewer when going for a new job….and sometimes just for enjoyment!
For centuries women have used dress to experiment and express their sexuality. Look at how a dominatrix pulls on her pvc and leather to shape her form and empower her, or how a lwyer will dress in a sharp suit so the rest of the world knows she means business. And in the bedroom…a female may indulge herself with silky fabrics, exotic corsets and sheer stockings to appeal to her partner or make herself feel good.
So I implore you, if women can adorn themselves this way why should men not be entitled to the same priveledge? What is it about gender ideals that dictates that a man cannot wear a skirt, that he will not be taken seriously if he wears soft pastels or is dressed in a way that is construed as overly feminine? Men and women both have feminine and masculine attributes, but to embrace ones other side too much is to encite criticism it seems.
Ok so perhaps the office is not the ideal setting for a gentleman to showcase his flirty feminine side, but why should he be judged or criticised for experimenting in private or in a like minded environment?
Poor Alex Reid faced public embarassment recently when it emerged that he enjoys dressine up as a female. But why should he feel embarassed? He’s the epitomy of masculinity with his cage fighter job, big muscles and gorgeous girlfriend and is obviously comfortable with his sexuality so what’s the issue? Surely it is a benefit to be able to express a more feminine side? And not to say that if he were a puny little slip of a man that cross dressing should be disallowed. I am merely commenting on the fact he seems secure in himself.
It is unfortunate that estranged ex of Reid ‘s girlfriend Katie Price and popstar Peter Andre is unable to accept such a concept. He wrote in his NOW column that Reid had better not dress up in front of Andre’s kids. I for one do not see how cross dressing would have a negative impact on children to start with. Is he acting innapropriately and in an overtly sexual manner? No. Is he having a negative influence on the children? No. Wherein lies the problem then? Childen often dress up as doctors or nurses or cowboys and indians and are not psychologically damaged!
Perhaps one might be concerned that cross dressing is sexually motivated and whilst it can be it is not wholly or limited to being sexually incited, the same way naturism isn’t necessarily sexual (I mean seriously – have you ever BEEN to a naturist camp?! There was nothing sexual about the one I worked at when I presented a holiday show around the resort!)
Furthermore – if it was felt the children were a tad young to understand such choices then it’s simply explained as “Daddy/Uncle/Brother is practising for a pantomine or play and will be pretending to be a lady!â€
Mr Andre who has seemingly taken great pains to conduct himself with decorum is not free from bigotry. I admit I had quite a thing for the strapping Aussie back in his Mysterious girl days, but his latest simperings and narrow mindedness does not make him a positive role model – but I digress, back on topic!
Cross dressing has existed for centuries – in Shakespearian times men would dress as women when women were not permitted to act on stage. The likes of Dick Emery and Benny Hill had us in stitches as they graced our screens! Comedians such as Lilly Savage and subversive icon Madonna have even made cross dressing more glamourous. Baring this in mind it would outwardly appear that as a whole we are comfortable with tranvestisism but it seems society stills finds some discomfort with it. Even distrust.
Often sexuality and gender preference are confused as the same thing. It never fails to amaze me when I open my women’s magaines and read the agony aunt columns – how ignorant people really are! I have read a multitude of problems from women asking “My hubby has a penchant for stockings or knickers is he gay?†Since when did wearing knickers or stockings make anyone gay? I always thought being gay was when a man prefers to give another man some botty love or when a women prefers licking the kitty to sucking the sausage. But then what would I know – I am only a bisexual!
To elaborate, some of the articles I have seen describe how women X catches her partner dressing up in her lingerie and then goes ballistic screaming at him that he’s filth and is obviously a homosexual. Not only is this naïve and bigoted but it’s downright hypocritical! We expect our partners to embrace our feminine wiles and to be estatic when we use vibrators to pleasure ourselves, we expect equal rights and to be allowed to act like ladettes, drink a pint or understand our way around an oil change….but oh if a guy wears a dress he obviously a pervert and does not care about your needs! I think we need to get a grip here and really think whether this promotes equality! Perhaps we are not physically equal but we should still have equal opportunities available to us. We should also not confuse expressing and experimenting with sexuality with sexual preference. In some cases a confused person may experiment with cross dressing and then later find out they are attracted to the same sex but this is by no means an indicator of sexual preference.
Perhaps we should commend the likes of the sarong wearing Beckham who is a good positive role model for equality, and to seek and learn to escape our prejudices.
Next time you see a guy proudly drinking is pint and wearing a pink top, or a female wearing a rugby top, shake their hand and acknowledge they are the people that will make society more tolerant in time.
