I’ve dated a fair few monsters in my time, been in some challenging relationships and been on some uncomfortable dates. I’ve had my fair share of narcissists and oddballs and it can be really hard to find a good one, especially when you work in the adult industry. When you find a good one however, you’ll be so glad that you took out the trash! Here are 6 Types Of Guys that you should avoid – especially if you model or work in the adult industry.
- Guys who are addicted to Porn. Dating a porn addict can be any fun unless you share his passion just as much. If you work in pornography however you want to go home and relax…not talk shop and try out 18 different positions whilst fellating a cucumber and spraying whipped cream from the rafters. Dating a Porn Star can give an addict the feeling of being a kid in a sweet shop, or being a junkie in a room full of crack, but over time the more the addiction is fed the more unstable the addict and the relationship will become. Too much of what you enjoy is not a good thing.
- Drug Addicts – it’s a no brainer for anyone really. If you shoot porn you really need good solid stable relationships to keep you grounded and on the right path. Whilst the industry has many good sides, it’s easy to meet the wrong people and if your private life is a mess and you are suffering from stress you are more likely to suffer from poor judgement and bad decisions. It will also play havoc on your routines and make everything feel chaotic and wildly out of control. Plus when you are on the moving and travelling all the time you really need a stable family life and support system. Years ago I was in a relationship with a lovely (at first) guy but he had a really bad drug problem. One day he’d be kind and loving and the next he’d either be off his face or grumpy, depressed and withdrawn. It got to the point where I didn’t know what to expect and I was scared to go home and was anxious about what I’d encounter. When he was high he would have no inhibitions and I’d find him running round the garden in my underwear with a butt plug in his butt and the lead and remote control swinging along in his wake!
Sometimes I’d wake up to find all the doors open and he’d be sleeping in the garden and sprawled out on the trampoline. Other days I just couldn’t get him out of bed. He didn’t work, didn’t help out much and would trash the house. I began to feel like his career and followed him round during his benders making sure he didn’t harm himself, though on more than one occasion he fell over and smashed his face into things and had blood streaming down his face whilst declaring “I’m fine, stop going on!” In short it took it’s toll on me and drained me to the point of exhaustion and despair and this is only a brief description of some of his problems. If you come across a guy like this – nip it in the bud promptly! - Guys Who Never Put Their Hands In Their Wallets – You know the kind of guy I mean. You walk into a bar and he heads straight for the loo and shouts “Grab me a beer” – every time! The one that never contributes, never tries and has no intention of bettering himself. Of course in many relationships often one partner may help the other until they are back on their feet, but if you end up with a bum who is just happy to sit watching tv and drink beer – get rid of! Jenna Jameson first coined the phrase “Suitcase Pimp”. This refers to a guy that expects his missus to be the breadwinner whilst he does sweet FA. In the beginning he might pretend to want to help and offer to drive you or carry your cases. Ultimately he will end up persuading you to pay him well over the odds or to take a percentage of your hard earned earnings! The suitcase pimp won’t actually do very much for you at all and will expect a big handout in return. He’ll justify that you need him. ‘He does so much for you‘, ‘How could you be so hurtful and cruel to suggest that he is sponging off you!’ This is a classic tactic used by narcissists who try to emotionally manipulate you. Not only do they project all of their bad qualities onto you (as they can’t accept that they are so damaged inside) but they will also have entitlement issues and turn everything around so they are the good guy and you are the villain to even suggest they help out more or consider earning some money.
- Guys that Want A Trophy Date. Fine if you are not looking for something deep and meaningful, but if you want more and he simply wants a hot chick on his arm and isn’t interested in getting to know you as a person or doesn’t introduce you to his friends then he is just after sex. Porn Stars get as much sex as they want without having to sacrifice their self esteem and energy to a hanger on.
- Guys That Want A Freebie – Kind of similar to trophy guy. They are not interested in your needs or feelings yet they expect you to act out scenes that they have seen you in and expect to you to fulfil their fantasies….all whilst not give a flying monkeys about yours.
- Any Guy That Starts Hinting At A Threesome with one of your Porn Star friends within a couple of dates. His agenda is clear. If it’s all a bit of fun then carry on by all means if it suits you just as much to play around and have fun, otherwise forget this fella. He thinks your his ticket to sordid orgies and shagging his way through the AVN winner list. Not only is he completely delusional, but he is one track minded and a 2 dimensional character that’s not going to add any value, interest or love to your life. You really don’t need to be his Willy Wonka of sex and need him as much as you need a tapeworm!
I hope my blog was of interest to you, helped you to recognise some people in your life or at least gave you a giggle. Have a wonderful day and look after yourselves. You are wonderful and deserve to have a happy, fulfilling life…it’s not a luxury, it’s a basic human right. Love yourself.
Big Hugs
Kaz B
xXx
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