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10 things to do tonight instead of Looting!

Bored and tempted to loot and pillage? Do you really want to spend a long stretch sharing a cell with nutters and eating porridge whilst keeping your butt securely to the wall (unless you like that in which case a gay club has a much nicer vibe!)

1. Have sex! Should you not have a partner or significant other, try to convince a friend to become a friend with benefits; failing this, push the boat out, book an escort.
2. Have a good old fashioned wank. Or seven. In fact lets have a little competition! Send in your scores on the back of a postcard 😀
3. Watch some porn! Don’t have any porn? Go get some! No, not looting – from the internet you plonker!
4. Watch some porn… whilst having a wank! Note: see 2 & 3, above
5. Why not make a little video of yourself on your phone (Ideally not looting/showing off your loot!) see also 1, 2 and 4 above!
6. Post a video on youtube, redtube or other as appropriate! (see also 5 above – promotion for you to use!
7. Smoke some blow, play some tunes and revel in what a chilled out mofo you are.
8. Laugh at morons posting videos of their stolen goods on social networking sites.
9. Read some sex blogs, have a go at writing your own erotic scenarios.
10. Edit the wikipedia entry for ‘Looting’

Super special secret Number “11” Write your own list of top ten things to do instead of looting!

Kaz B

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