I am not exactly sure why but many of my subs seem to consider me the person to confide in when there girlfriend or wife doesn’t want to have sex. It’s certainly not something that would ever be on the agenda with myself, so I believe that their reasons for confessing these secrets to myself are genuine rather than some delusional effort at sympathy sex. My subs are educated and self aware and I feel that such behaviour would be below them, besides they know their Mistress too well even attempt that sort of pitiful display of patheticness.
‘How can I get my wife in the mood?’ is a question I get asked to help with a lot so I have decided to write this blog to give you fellas some pointers!
First I will reveal the top 3 things that turn women off when you initiate sex. Then I am going to reveal to you the tactics to get your wife or girlfriend in the mood for sex. Read on!
From a female point of view, when you are not in the mood, do you know what is the most irritating thing a guy can do? Actually there are a few things:
- Ask for sex.
Seriously, there is nothing less sexy than your other half asking you for sex! So perhaps the girlfriend is just thinking about her paperwork for tomorrow and you look up at her with sad cow eyes and implore “Baby can we have sex tonight?”
What’s wrong with this you might ask? Guys are always up for sex! (If you believe the stereotype).
I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it! It lacks passion, there’s no build up and now she is suddenly under a lot of pressure. As a female, once you have been asked this, you are suddenly expected to start being sexy and make all the effort without even being turned on.
Sorry guys – you are going to have to work a LOT harder than this if you want to please the missus!
Besides, when you ask rather than initiating intimacy in a physical manner, in a way you are denoting that you are not worthy, that you must ask permission to even touch her. Women like their partners to be assertive and confident and not beg for sex with puppy eyes.
2. Jump right into dirty talk without so much as laying a finger on her.
Picture this. You’re right in the middle of watching an action movie and you think to yourself: ‘The Missus likes Jason Statham, I bet she’s getting all hot under the collar!’
Just because Jason Statham is on the screen, you’d be wrong assume you’ll missus is getting her knickers in a damp little twist. She’s probably thinking ‘Yes I liked the first 5 or 6 films where someone kidnapped his friend and so he went out for vengeance, but it’s getting a little dull now.’
Looming over her shoulder and whispering in what you think is a sexy manner “Bet you want some cock you dirty bitch” can be a akin to a mosquito buzzing in your ear when you are trying to read a good book. Women have to be in the mood to enjoy dirty talk so get her in the mood FIRST before letting that tongue run away with itself. Just because it turns you on doesn’t mean that it will work for her. Furthermore the use of the words ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ whilst she is mid movie is probably going to get you a sardonic sideways look at best.
3. Randomly grabbing her girl parts out of the blue.
Hey we know a lot of guys love it if a women just grabs your parts willy nilly, (no pun intended) but for women we need to be teased and seduced. Trust me there is nothing more annoying than your crotch being randomly grabbed. You want to swat that hand away like the nasty invasive little beast it is!
‘What Kaz?!’ I hear you cry! ‘I can’t ask or beg, I can’t start talking dirty which I know gets me off, and I can’t give her flange a good bit of friction! What the hell can I do?!’
Don’t sweat it. It’s simple. It’s so easy, you just need to have PATIENCE and put in some effort! All real men need to know how to do this and you can too!
Women are most in the mood for sex when they are relaxed. When they are stressed out or under pressure it’s either no going to happen or it’s not going to be good, so you need to get her to unwind.
Start by stroking her hair or neck. Take your time and don’t be completely obvious with it.The art to it is getting her turned on by your touch rather than thinking you are only touching her to get sex. You want to lull her into it gently.
When you have her as relaxed as a purring kitten, slowly trail your fingers over her hotspots – by this I don’t mean her lady garden, not yet. Pay attention to less sexualised areas such as her back, wandering down towards her bottom and then stroke her inner thighs. When she starts to show signs of being responsive – lean in for that killer kiss!
The lips might seem like the obvious place to kiss, but don’t just give her a two second snog before whipping out your truncheon. Linger over her lips and pause, create a feeling of intimacy, trail little kisses over her neck and body. A woman needs to feel desirable and wanted to have sex and not feel that you just want to plug her for two minutes! Of course this may be the case sometimes, but if you want to get her in the mood you don’t want her to think this! So even if the sex itself doesn’t last long, be sure to kiss her gently and with ardor.
Once you have got her writhing a little and kissed all her hotspots (lips, nape of the neck, breasts, stomach, thighs) you can touch her girly bits. A gentle touch is key here. Start rubbing away like you are trying to sandpaper a workout top is definitely going to be a regression! So gently, gently touch and you’ll be visiting her magical island in no time at all.
Once she is warmed up and raring to go – be as dirty as you can get away with! Start the dirty talk! If she likes doggy or spooning – try that. She will be 100% more experimental if she is turned on so it is worth persevering with. No excuses to be lazy!
I would deduce that this will probably work 7 or 8 times out of ten. Those other couple of times she may be genuinely too exhausted, but stick with it and you will be enjoying a more frequent and enjoyable sexy life.