Whilst I don’t really count myself as working in porn anymore (I am a dominatrix, writer and cam girl) I get asked many questions about the porn industry and just as much as there is a good side there is also a dark side.
Here are a few things to expect and beware of. As a new fish you will most likely be a little vulnerable and seen as easy prey. You may think that everyone is your friend and has your best interest at heart, but there are many lurking predators both inside and outside of the industry that will see you as an easy target. Be on your guard and look out for these possible issues.
People Who You Thought Were Your Friends Will Turn On You
That girl you used to hang out with at the coffee shop, that guy that used to chat you up – suddenly they will be gossiping about you behind your back, and online where you can see their comments. They suddenly feel justified in critically judging every aspect of your being from your career and intellect through to your body. They may comment negatively on your breasts, your latest scene (which they can’t resist watching obviously!) or your life.
Advice: These people were never your friends. True friends don’t just turn because you have appeared naked on camera. See it as a blessing in disguise, you are well shot of negative, critical and judgemental bigots.
On the flip side – there will be a surge of hangers-on who have unrealistic expectations of what you earn They will try to get in on everything you do, stick to you like glue, bask in what they perceive to be glory and expect you to pay their way.
Advice. These guys aren’t your friends either. Tell them you’ve gambled all your money away or gone bankrupt. You won’t see them for dust!
Your true friends will be there throughout thick and thin. You’ve narrowed your friendship circle – so what! You have a smaller bunch of really good, genuine mates. A smaller group of decent friends you can count on is beyond far better than an entourage of users and critics.
Your perception of the human body may start to warp and you may fixate on perfection and embark on extreme diets or start to consider surgery like massive breasts or a labia reduction.
Advice: I would advise against any major surgery unless you have a deformity that seriously affects your confidence or inhibits your ability to work. The natural form is a beautiful thing and there are many producers out there that will only shoot natural girls, so bigger breasts doesn’t necessarily mean more work. I have seen many girls have surgery only to regret it. Some have had operations that have gone wrong, others have experienced intense back pain after having enormous breast implants and had them removed shortly after.
Don’t forget trends change over time too. All those girls that have had butt implants may be kicking themselves when tiny butts come back into fashion.
Learn to love yourself instead. If you suffer from self esteem issues, spend time on yourself, meditate, read, educate yourself or learn a new skills. Your looks will fade over time anyway so investing in your brain and making sure you have a back up plan will do more for you then going under the knife.
You may be asked to do things that you are not comfortable with.
Producers may ask you to do things outside of your limits or pressure you into giving them favours.
You might be asked to do things way beyond your comfort levels or feel under pressure to conform.
Advice: You really don’t need that shoot that much. If you are reliable, do a good scene and have good energy more work will come. Never ever compromise your integrity for anyone else. Also never decide to go beyond your limits on a shoot. If you are considering it – consider at home, never on set as you may regret it later. This is one belief I have always been strong on and it has served me well.
Don’t feel pressured by other girls who are more extreme than you. So what if they do anal or double vag – that is their choice. Be the best version of you and not somebody else.
Strangers attitudes will shock you.
Whilst you may have your fair share of admirers, some guys will assume that you are easy and that you owe them something – yes even if you are just a solo model and don’t work with other people they will think this!
You may get abuse online, or even in the street although I have not personally encountered the latter.
Advice: It’s very easy to become defensive or angry when someone attacks you or makes assumptions about you. However their comments do not reflect upon you, they actually reflect on the ignorance and lack of boundaries of the abuser. Ignore them and don’t get embroiled in pointless, time wasting arguments. You don’t owe them your time or an explanation. They will soon get bored of their pathetic attempts to troll you and move on.
You may start to dress or act a little inappropriately without realising it:
Advice: When you are surrounded by boobs and bums all day it’s easy to get used to it and not think twice about wearing a low cut top around normal folk. It’s essential to ensure that your porn identity and your true self are very separate entities. If you feel that *Sarah Jones is becoming more *Ivanna Cocks outside of work then it’s time for a reality check. Don’t lose your own precious sense of identity. If you go wild on set – fine, but leave the wild porn star behind when you leave the set. The person who you really are inside is the person that your friends and family love. The adoration you get from being a porn star is not real. Porn fans are fickle and will soon move on to the next big thing. Whilst the attention can be addictive, your self esteem will benefit much more in the long wrong by enjoying a stable life and remaining true to yourself.
I hope you enjoyed reading my article. If you have any questions on this topic please leave a comment below and I will answer them.
Let this be your mantra….