Porn King Pins XHamster have always been market leaders and now they plan to once more lead the way with a Donald Trump parody porn theme.
They have just released a global casting call to seek out the best Donald Trump look-a-like to take part in a 4 year series of porn parodies.
Alex Hawkins, a spokesman from Xhamster revealed:
“The Trump transition has been turbulent for all of us. We apologise for the delay in getting out this request. There is nothing more that the American public needs than quality adult content parodies to help them understand the ever shifting landscape of their Executive Branch of government.”
If you are already wondering if you might fit the bill and fancy being the face of this parodic presidency then here is the list of criteria!
Suitable applicants would ideally possess an alternative style of hair with a good resemblance to Mr Trump.
Excellent health is an absolute must! To undertake this style of work physical fitness is essential.
You should be able to make astoundingly good deals and enter into this with the flair, enthusiasm and grandness that is TRUMP-esque.
Whilst the following is not compulsory, Xhamster suggest that the following may be beneficial…
Small hands….well everything looks bigger next to a small hand doesn’t it!
Your trouser snake should be up to all kinds of physical and mental challenges and not be discouraged by external factors…put it this way, if you have ever though that you would win the gold if sex was an Olympic sport then this might suit you!
“A love of glory holes!” Although one might imagine they mean ‘A love of any hole’ in fact!
They also suggest this key requirement “The ability to harness both Trump’s complete understanding of all issues without any actual knowledge of an issue, is also an optional trait”.
Does this sound like you? Could you put America to rights and show them how it’s done? And all whilst making your way through a harem of exquisitely beautiful porn actresses?
If you read this nodding your nodding in ever increasing increments of excitement then Xhamster asks you to send a non adult video of yourself dressed and in character as Mr Donald Trump to firstname.lastname@example.org
Xhamster will post all applicants to their website and their members will select the winner who will become the official Trump for Xhamster’s reign of comedic filth.
The lucky winner will also be given the twitter handle @realxHDonaldTrump and will be expected to connect with fans & voters across the world. Now with great power comes great responsibility – you will be expected to use it for the greater good and help people to reach orgasm all across the world.
Following this casting will be a search for other key members such as Trumps ex wives and officials so keep your eyes peeled!
This is what the world is waiting for – something we can take seriously and get our rocks off to! Let the countdown begin.