It’s not just guys that e-mail me with modelling/sexual/health problems. I get a lot of e-mails from ladies to asking me if I can help them with a problem.
Here is a letter I received recently from a female in her 20’s.
This might seem a bit out of the blue, but I was reading your Uk-fetish blog and you seem quite informed so I wondered if you could help me with a bit of an embarrassing question.
The thing is I have quite large labia lips and wondered if this is normal? Also my boyfriend says he thinks my lips are ugly because they are too big and doesn’t want to touch them. I feel a bit humiliated by this and it’s really put me off sex with him. I haven’t wanted him to touch me since. Should I have surgery to correct them?
Love your blog by the way, Love Fizzy xx
OMG what the f***?! This letter really wound me up and this is how I replied.
Please get any ideas of surgery out of your head right now! Your labia is perfectly normal and women come in all shapes and sizes. Perhaps your boyfriend has been watching too much American porn and doesn’t know what real women should look like. To be honest he sounds completely immature and it’s a very childish and insensitive thing to say! He really needs to grow up. How would he like it if you told him his penis looked like a shrivelled, wrinkly old prune and you didn’t want to touch it? The problem is your boyfriend and not you. Tell him he needs to get over it and work on his ‘issues’. If he can’t then it’s really not your problem. You were created the way you are and should celebrate it and not change for anyone. You really don’t need somebody in your life that will criticise the person you are and make you feel unattractive for being you. You are worth more than that.
Good luck and let me know how you get on.
Does Porn Brainwash Men?
Whilst porn can be enriching for both singles and couples, unfortunately it can also brainwash those with little life experience or a low IQ. Or perhaps the guy Fizzy referred to is just a bit of an idiot, but porn can give males a false impression of what women should look like and how they should act. It’s idealised in films, they have the right lighting, right angles and of course it is never like that in real life. Watching a porn film and expecting sex with your partner to be like that is like watching a martial arts movie and expecting yourself to be like Bruce Lee in a pub fight!
If you make the time to actually get to know your partner you’ll have a far better connection than you would than expecting her to act like Jenna Jameson in the bedroom. Trust and mutual respect make for much better sex. Expectation and judgement makes for extremely poor sex. Take it from an ex-porn star!
I hoped you enjoyed reading my blog and if you would like some advice on a sexual matter feel free to e-mail me on firstname.lastname@example.org
Have a great week all.